Day 1

Have you ever heard of Isagenix? A few years ago my parents told me about this new diet they were on. At first I thought it sounded insane! But then I saw how it worked, and I was amazed. So I decided to try it myself. That's when I learned how it felt, and I was even more amazed! I lost 30+ pounds in just a matter of months. I felt incredible and looked so much better, and I was loving it. Then the holidays started rolling around and "I'll just take the day off" turned into weeks, turned into months, which turned into falling back into my old habits and my old clothes - the much bigger ones. I tried other diets and failed and kept getting bigger and bigger. So much of my weight loss is in my head, and I just couldn't seem to get back into that good place where I'm happy to do what it takes to change. Then I had a moment.

You know that moment when you suddenly have clarity and you see something as it really is. I saw myself for the first time in a long time - the me everyone else saw, not the image I had of myself - and I couldn't believe it was really me. That's when I finally understood what I was doing to myself and what needed to happen to find ME again, the real me, the one hidden under all these extra pounds.

I talked to my husband, and he was excited for me to start Isagenix again. He agreed that I looked and felt better on that diet than any other I had tried, and it was worth the cost. So I placed my order and anxiously awaited the package I knew would soon arrive.

That box showed up on my doorstep yesterday, so in my typical style I spent the day eating plenty of extra calories and junk. In my saner moments I realize it's ridiculous to treat the day before a diet as my "last meal," but I always seem to follow through with the insanity anyway.

I woke up this morning and weighed myself. 237 pounds. Yikes! The first time I watched the numbers on my scale grow and grow until I panicked enough to do something about it, I weighed 200 pounds, and now here I was 37 pounds heavier than that and finally getting on track. Then an even scarier part - measuring myself. It was hard to see in black and white just how bad I have let it get. I have five children who need a mother. I should be taking care of myself so much better than this - if not for me, then at least for them!

But it is for me. I am doing this for me, and for them. I will find that woman beneath the extra pounds who loves life and lives it happily, healthy, here and now.